Return to Ceylon

This was the last picture I took of Rohana Special School before I left nearly a year ago. It was six o’clock at night, and as usual, the children and matrons were lined up, girls on the left and boys on the right, in front of the school temple. The boys had already placed a lit oil lamp in front of Buddha, while the girls offered a bowl of loose flowers and a cup of incense. Now, at that moment, everyone was standing, either sandals or bare dirt beneath naked feet, hands clasped together in front of the chest in mediation.

During morning assembly, the teachers lead the prayers in sign language while facing the students, but in the evening no one leads the prayer in sign as all eyes are directed towards Lord Buddha. So none of the children quite know what exactly is being said by the matrons.

One hour later, I was sobbing loudly in Fiona’s arms as the three-wheeler sped out of Rohana Special School, boys chasing after it, my heart shattered at the new reality of never seeing the children or my friends again.

I flew to and spent the next few days in Bangkok emotionally barren, dazed by watching the full fury of a now-foreign American Sign Language reveal itself through my best friend Bobby’s hands. I struggled to reconcile the cold stares of urban Thais with the overflowing hospitality of Sri Lankans; the metropolis of Bangkok with the rural Matara district; the gaudy-baroque Buddhist temples with the austere-white Sinhalese dagobas.

While it is impossible to have someone completely understand nine months in Sri Lanka, I have been blessed to receive visits in San Francisco from Anne East and Jenny Jones; maintain regular e-mail contact with Ginette and Sophie, Nerissa and David; endear to family, housemates, and friends who do not shy away whenever I introduce a Sri Lankan idea, drink, or dish; take a consciousness-raising course in Deafhood that has opened my eyes to the causes, processes, and effects of colonialism; and continue contact with many people back in Ceylon via SMS messaging.

I have ached to return since June 24th. Since then, I have moved to San Francisco, settled into a new city with outstanding housemates and have been working as a substitute teacher daily at California School for the Deaf in Fremont. I’ve been accepted to the ASL/Bilingual Education of the Deaf master’s program at University of California, San Diego, and will begin classes in mid-June. My parents have graciously agreed to host me once again (for the third time post-college, if anyone was counting!), and I’m looking forward to staying in San Diego for a long time, but not too thrilled about leaving San Francisco.

Before I do that, though, I’m going back to Sri Lanka for a month! You will find me back in Matara with my favorite children and treasured friends and colleagues from May 14 to June 9th, and then in Hong Kong for two and a half days to hopefully visit Pubodha and the CUHK sign linguistics program.

Unlike last time, I’m not quite sure yet what I will be doing there for four weeks. It certainly isn’t enough time to be teaching/tutoring English and Math. I had some grand ideas and was ready to raise money from all of you dear readers to make it possible, but now I’m rethinking everything and trying to ensure that whatever I do is what they want, not what I imagine they need. I will definitely keep you all updated on what I decide on.

In the meantime, the flights are booked, the travel insurance policy is set, I’m eyeing the Bombay Bazaar store on Valencia Street for some light clothes shopping, and I’m devoured daily by feelings of anticipation, nervousness, and wonderment. I cannot wait to return to Ceylon.

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